I forget!

Helloooooooooooo!

It have been so long, that I didn't write here, that in the end, I forget where exactly I put my blog!
Really! I forget the domain that I put my block on! I forget the name, the links..everything!

It was one night, that I was really eager to write and guess what- I thought about my blog!
Ok! I am going to write in my blog..but what was the name of my blog? And where did I put it!?

Today I discover, the big secret. I put it right here..
It was right here all the time, but only today, I discover it.

And so-I am writing now. Great!

I am preparing myself to go to University. It will be a shock. It wil be a new experience. It will be..Life. Raw, scary, big and..University! This is what it is.

Listen to this, to get some insperation, before going to bed.
The best Ever I listen so far, from this website! Seriously!

http://www.tinymixtapes.com/-Chocolate-Grinder-

Speech Debelle - "Bad Boy" (Speech Therapy) -LOL!

It's almost time

Остават броени дни, до заминаването ми, за Анкара.
Още от вчера, понеделник, чуствам, как дните ще се изнижат ей така и вече си се представям как летя.
Има още куп неща да се свършат преди това, а аз даже незнам, откъде да почна.
Освен, подмяна на летния гардероб, трябва да правя и подмяна, вътре в себе си.

Моята year off, почти приключи. Почти 8 месеца, прекарах, живеейки в Хасково. Това е доста време, както и да го погледнем.
Обръщайки се назад, мога да кажа, че можеше много повече неща да свърша, много повече да науча, от това, което постигнах. Но бързах, нещата да се изнижат, year off-a, да свърши и да поема по пътя на учението abroad.
Е, това е на път да стане, а с толкова много пришпорване, май съм задвижил твърде бързо нещата. В момента опитвам да забавя темповете, да наваксам в field-овете, където не съм толкова добър, но времето не чака.
Вече чуствам как се рея, между облаците и как самолета се приземява. Не ми остава никакво време. Толкова енерция съм насъбрал от преди, да тръгна, да замина, че не мога да я спра в момента, даже и да ми се иска.
Чуствам с каква огромна скорост, събитията минават. Ще кажа Чао, на хората, които бяха до мен, тези месеци. Ще мина още веднъж, по познатите ми улици на града. Ще погледна назад, за да видя, какво ще оставя в Хасково.

Надявам се, престоя ми, abroad, да е положителен. Ben казва, че даже и да е отрицателен или да не ми допадне толкова, пак ще е experience. Ще помъдрея, ще има growing up.
Вече летя..
Няма нужда от стягане на багаж, тъй като той е винаги стегнат. Винаги готов, да тръгна.
А когато опцията ми се дава, да замина, се чудя как да забавя събитието и къде да разопаковам нещата.
Може би е страх от неизвестното. Може би съм свикнал вече с нещата, около мен, тук в Хасково, и не искам да се променят.
Но връщане няма. А времето тече страшно бързо..

Saying that you are right about everything does make you automatically wrong!

It is it, not cool? Saying that you are right about everything does make you automatically wrong.
It's long, smart..and it's cooL!

Great speeches

Today, at Ben place, we watched, the movie The Great Debaters.
What I learn from the movie
-The greatest speaches, are won, not by the strongest argument, but the most Emotional and dramatic example.
-Always refer to God and the Bible. The audience and jury like that, because they will think you are righteousness.
-Black people make great emotional speeches. Specially when they speak, how mistreated the black people are.
-Have a black coach. He will inspire you, with emotional speeches and quotes from poets and history.
-Little boys, don't get hot girls.
-Black people love to dance
-Does saying too much "black people" make you a rasist?

Social Issue

I have to write about a social issue, I am concern about.
You probably are going to say-'Good! You can speak out your mind'. Yes..but No.

I dislike so many things, I see everyday, but I am so use to it, that I can't name them straight.
I don't like....and that is. A blind space. How can I say, I dislike so many things, but can't give a straight example? So, if I can't give a example, that means, I really don't dislike anything.
Everything is ok. Maybe that is my social issue- I am so use to problems, that I don't see them as a threat and can't name them particularly.
I have to figure out something for tommorow.
What is your social issue? Unfair parking tickets, high price of bloody everything, not enough social care for adults?

When I am finish and have it on paper my social issue, I am going to post it here.

It's time for change! Name the problem! Speak out!

..and don't get stuck-inspired like me -_-

3 days to go..and 100 click on this blog!

I start with the big news (for me). There are only 3 more days, that I am going to be at age 19. Can you imagine? Just after 3 days, I am changing numbers. I can't believe it. And I don't know if I want to believe it. But that is not important- time fly like something really fast, and there is no stoping of it. Just have to get fit to it, and accepted it. Three more days, 19. I am going to miss that age. It was fun, have great experience, and I think there is more to learn from it. But numbers change. Twenty, here I come! Hope for the best, time will show the rest.

One hundread clicks!!! On this blog! Yeaah...Even that most of the click on this blog, are from me, to check out, if someone leave a comment, still there are One hundread clicks!
Thanks to the people, who visit the blog, and hope, someday, will turn one thousand!

14.02- Day of love, death, sickness, love-making and friendship

14.02. Many people associated the day, with Sv. Valentine. But it was not all, flowers, hearths and ballons. There were funeral too.
On that day, a 18 year old boy, die in a car accident. He was going to finish high school, and go maybe to university. His life was infront of him. But he pass away, in that car accident.
It make me very sad, and sick inside. I filled that day, that I am going to have a hearth atack. So many funeral around me, this months, that I am scared to think, who is going to be the next.
It shake my stability, of knowing, that people will exist for a long time, around me. But instead of this, I see more and more funerals. Young, old, there passing away, and it's really scary, because you know, that maybe someone around you, that you see every day, you may face his obituary.
The boy was too young..and it's really sad. So sad, that litarly make me puke in my bathroom. I was shaking and scared, that people are dying, and you can't do much about it.
Who is going to be the next one? Is it someone you know? Or have seen on the street? How you are going to react.
I still fill uncomfortable, with the thought that everyone are going to pass away and no security in life, is for ever. It's sad and scary..and suffocate my hearth.

I wish to write about the love-making, friendship..but I will leave this post, only to death. Don't wont to put, other topics.

I care!

We are such a big disbelivers. Hardly we believe in something.
We don't believe in ourself, in other people, in the world, in space..whatever, we don't believe.

One person, this night say-"People don't care about people"- I hope that, she say that, because shte is lonely or sad. I hope that she dosen't believe it really and deeply. I hope, because I care, and write to her. Saying "people don't care about others" just destroy any feeling. We are selfish and ignorant, but little or more, we care. Because we need that feeling, to care toward someone.
Even the most hateful persons, among us, feel the need to care for somebody, even just to hate him.
So I say-"I care", more then you know. Don't give shit like "people don't care" just to say, how bad you feel, about the world. There people, who actually care and if you want that to continued, stop pity yourself and say 'Hi', to everyone around.
I care and I hope, that you find out. Because, it piss me off, sometime, when you say, how people are unfair. I care..

Here the wind blow..and it call for change

"Sharks keep moving", "Kolya", "Catena collapse". That are just one, of the names, of my new face. The face dress in red. The face listening to screamo music and thinking that he is filling joy, of everyday stuff, for a very long time.
The reason is not love. Not even money. The reason are people. I think that, I can start to believe that, feeling good, with other people can change you, to that point, that you are addicted to 'feeling good'. And that my readers of this blog, is something wonderful.
I feel the energy flooting thrue my body. The music, the colours, the sky this days..it's just I can feel it, something wonderful is happening and something even more great is coming my way.

"Sky do push-ups.
Flexability..
don't means with
stability."

Outlander 2008 (second notes)

-is that viking sword or sci-fi sword?

On second review, Outlander is not neither sci-fi or viking movie. It's not even a good mix.
It seems that it has taken parts from several movies, even a game (the metal costume of the hero and the sci-fi atmosphere, even the alient is looking like a Zerg, are so familiar with the game Starcraft, that you can't denied)
The plot is plain, not a whole story, you get confuse at a time, are you watching a sci-fi movie with a viking elements, or a viking movie with some sci-fi elements, or what Are you watching at all?!
You are watching Outlander. A attempt to bring two different genres at one movie. Can you imagine, The 13th worrier and the Alien in one movie? I can't at this moment and Outlander didn't make me believe, that is possible.

Even, with a high budget, 55 Millions, I don't think that it will have a major success. With a bad promotion and not so good made idea, I don't think that Outlander will be remembered or have impact in the movie history. But hey..you can expect a sequal (hope Not). Won't that be great!

P.S: The resemblings with the "The 13th worrier" are so much, now that I watch more close, the movie. The creature in Outlander, in the end, is hiding in a cave, just like in the 13th worrier, then the group escape thrue water and in the final scene, they burn a ship, with a burning arrows. Guess what? Just like in "The 13th worrier"! I think that, the director of Outlader have to be a big fan, of 13th worrier, or he just think, that he can take parts of The 13th worrier and easily can mix them with sci-fi, from The Matrix, Alien and Scarcraft. Well..No. He can't and the movie prove it.
From scale 1 to 10, I give 4 to Outlander.

Outlander 2008

What happen, when you combain "The 13th worrier" and "The matrix"? The result is- Outlander.
Maybe, because of the viking set, but the movie looks so much as "The 13th worrier". You have vikings, you have a mistical monsters (in "The 13th worrier it was the "the wendol" and in Outlander is "Moorwen") and the lead hero in Outlander looks so much as Antonio Banderas in "The 13th worrier". The only thing is that, I like more "The 13th worrier". It was more antentic and had more atmosphere. It make me feel really, like I am in Norway or the Finlands. In Outlander, it has some nice decores, but it look, like made in a hollywood studio.

The other part, in Outlander, is the taken ideas from the Matrix. The movie begin how our hero crush on the planet Earth and to find where he is, he use his computer.
After he find out, that he lends in viking times, he start a program, to learn all the facts, about this era and language. And Bam! After 3 seconds of memorising, he knows evrything. Just like in "The Matrix", where Trinity learn how to fly a helicopter, in a matter of seconds. Let's don't forget, again the resemblance with "the 13th worrier". In the 13th worrier, our hero had also the problem with language. But how he learn it? On the old school way- by listening to others and try to figure out, what they say.
I will remember that, because I was watching the 13 worrier with my parents, and they were facinated with that method and it was really cool, to watch how he just sits and listen to them, and after a time, he can clearly answer to them that his mother has not a whore. That's the way of learning! With hard work, not like in the Outlander, where just in seconds, the hero knows evrything.
What about the monster in Outlander? It look just like a the octopodes in the Matrix. Almost one to one. I prefer the vendols in the 13 worrier. They were much cooler and scary, then a "I seen this creature before" in the Outlander movie.

So in the end, I will say, if you want to watch a viking atmosphere movie, go see "The 13th worrier" with Antonio Panderas and forget about the viking-matrix mix, that is the Outlander.

Goodbye Bush!

We don't think there's a person left on this earth who isn't thrilled/glad/relieved to see the back of George Bush, America's worst president - and that includes Republicans. Which is why we laughed out loud when a reader sent in this brilliant ad in the Australian newspaper, The Daily Telegraph today. Supermarket hair removal brand Veet joined in the loud chorus of 'goodbye and good riddens' and sold a few more tubes of hair removal cream at the same time. Brilliant. No more Bush indeed. - Laura Demasi

Just so perfect! Ha-ha-ha! Goodbye Bush, by Veet, make my day : )

Friday!

Today was one, really productive Friday. I wrote a whole bunch of stuff. I am happy about it.
Generally I like fridays. Specially when I was in high school, I was so glad, to see the friday coming. Now, after I finish, I just wait for the week, to begin, because most of my appointments are thrue the week. But still, I like the fridays. You see, more happier faces, because people are relaxing for the coming weekend.
It's Friday! Get a life and party!(or read a nice book, like I am going to do..)

Hang them all!

Hang them all! -not the government. Hang them all, is a song by Tapes n' Tapes. A great song!

" Hang them All, Hang them All
Hang them All, Hang them All
need you to bleed for something"

If you watch there video, to the song, you will see, how useless it seems, all that store, with the signs "Only 99 cents, or 98 cents". In this stores, they sell, like the whole China. You can find anything at ridiculous prices. What makes them different, from the fancy, big label shops? The quality? Ok. Anything else? I don't think so. The products, from the fancy shops and the 99 cents shops, are made in one place- China. So, why in the one shop is 34 bucks, and in the other, Only 99 cents? Because of the name of the shop.
When it's called-"Fancy stuff from Paris" you can't sell cheap products. People expect to buy something on high price and to be fancy. But what about the 99 cents shop? You don't expect to find anything that have the name "fancy" even if it's from Paris.
The name of the shop is making the price of the products? In over-all look, yes.
So, it's your own chose, if you are going to spend you money in "fancy pfy-pfy" shop or 99 cents shop. But remember..it will come time, when in 99 cents shops, will sell a car even. This days will come.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-PZ5g1odqA

Happy/Unhappy

I was wondering about the quest of finding happiness. And do you know what?
The more you search for happiness, the more the happiness run away from you.

You try so hard to find happiness, that in the end, you are disappointed. You expect, that happiness will be on the next corner, or that you actually will find, something that look like happiness.
No, no, no, my young lad. There is no such thing. The pleasure of the quest of happyness, is the actual searching. No one said, that you are going to find happiness. But there is said, that you are going to get some trouble time, that you are going to lose something. And in the end, in the end, you will see, that happiness don't exist. Just pleasant moments. And the pleasant moment was for you, in this quest. For happiness.

New Project

My new, upcoming project,Kids drinking coffee.
It will be a blast!
More info and actual demos, after I fix my computer.

Pink Sink- my new blog

I made myself, a new blog, where I am going to post, my short story's.

Here it is- http://pinksink.blogspot.com/

Something funny

I was just 'surfing' in the net, when I found, that, wonderful, wonderful, site.
Take a look at those cartoons. Aren't they great?! ; )

More of this stuff, Here- http://www.nataliedee.com/nd-archives/ndarchive-dec08.php

Wish come true

You know, have people say, be careful what you wish for.
One of my wishes was, not to see, people from my past.
I know, it's an impossible mission, but everytime I saw someone from my past, I didn't feel to happy about it. It bring memories. Not positive memories. And I always fill that, when I see someone from my past, he or she is returning me back in time. They will always see me as the person, that I was before. I don't like that at all! For them, I will always be the boy, that is unmature, that have done this and that, and will be forever stuck in the past, as them.
That's why, when I see someone from my past, I try to avoid him and I wish that I meet less and less people, from my past, at all.
Well, I try so hard to accomplish this task, that now it's come true. But in a wrong way..
I can't believe how many years I try to avoid people from my past and with that action I also scared away, people from my present. I don't know is it karma, but my wish, come true, and it dosent feel too good.
I am writing because, recently on one event, last friday, I saw people from my volunteer group, and no one from them, spoke to me. It was like, I was a ghost. They were walking thrue me, even that our eyes met. No one of them spoke to me, even that just before one month we were seeing each other, at meeting of the volunteer group.
The day after, I was thinking to call, one of the members of the group, to ask them, what is the problem, why they react like that..but as I was thinking, no matter what explanation they give me, were going to be no good. I was just going to curse them and say that they are hypocrites. Bloody hypocrites. Just month before, we were talking, laughing and things like that, and now, they even can't say one "Hi" to me.
And the story contunied with the coincidence meeting, with the leader of the volunteer group, on the street. She just look me and didn't say anything. I don't know were I go wrong, or why they refuse to speak with me. I just prefer to not care about them anymore. If they want silence- silence I will give them. I can't figure out, why they act like this, but I know that is not my fault.
Relationships with people are difficult and sometimes confusing. I can't help them or force them, to say "Hi". We will be now strangers, from now on. Just another strangers on the street.
Also, to make it more beautiful, a person who I keep meeting, for almost a year and something, said to me, or make a suggestion, that our seeing is over.
That was just, the finishing of the gratest story, called "How people, can forget about you"
But, what you give is what you take. So..I deserve it. Maybe. I will not care about them. They will not care about me.
The good news are, new friendships, are on the horizont, the weather is getting warmer, and I hope that my smile will be real, after a time.
Be careful what you wish. Because sometime a wish can come true.

Dreamers and Dream-catchers

There are dreamers, and dream-catchers.
Dreamers can be called people, who like to make up there own world, live in fairy tales and fly in purple clouds. I can be one of them.
On the other hand, are the dream-catchers. There job is to bring up dreamers back to the ground.
They catch the dreams, from there puffy clouds and drag them to the earth.
One of the dream-catchers can be called my mother. As she support me on my decisions, most of the time, and I know that she loves me much, our recent contact, thrue the skype end with a harsh line. She said: "I don't want to hear anymore from you, do whatever you want and bang your head in the wall, as much you want" This line can make anyone come to earth. Including me.
But as I know, that my mother is loving me and won't tell me something that will do me harm, the line from her side, is only to protect me, from too much dreaming.
Because, is't good to have dreams, but when you constantly fly in the sky, there have to be a person, who can bring you to the ground, like it or not. This person is my mother and I am thankful to her, because only with dreams you can't succeed anywhere.
So, as there are dreamers, there have to be dream-catchers, also, because living too long in the clouds, can cause a mass headache.

Drama people

After Maria, write in my facebook profile, that the drama in Lyd blog (http://c00ledge.wordpress.com/) it's not worth it (it's all about a student of Lydia, who dosen't think that I am so cool and drop down his opinion and criticism about me), I start to think about, why the drama begin, in first place.
So, what we need for a good drama?
First: Two or more people, when they don't agree with each other and there is a lot of emotion from one person, or more then one. Ok, we have that person, who think that his ego is on first place and all other people have to know, that I am his problem in his life.
There is the second person, I, who disagree with his opinion, and think that the first person, statement sux, how he is the victim and I robe his valuable time.
The drama begins, when the first person is getting emotional about his problem with me and have to share it, with evrybody else.
Ok. But why I am so impress with that, when evrybody else say that, I have to leave the topic, because there is no point in arguing with the first person.;
The answer is, that secretly I enjoy drama. Oh, yes.
I like how the first person is writing emotional long passages, saying that, I am wasting evrybodys time and that I am not worth it, for his criticism. I just enjoy his attension, with the matter of me, and that he is so obsessed with writing how cruel I am to others, by not accept them in facebook.
Facebook. There the whole problem. You have to be careful with people. If you don't add someone, and he turns to be too emotional about it, it can get nasty.
So..Drama is good. Drama is bad. Drama is making the world go round.
Drama people-UNITE!

Thankful

Because of recent events, I just thought how thankful we have to be, in evry second we live.

The reasons for that, discovery, is the recent dead of my grandfather, from whitch I still don't know exactly effect me, but it leave a hole in me.

It's just, when you get use to somebody, you don't expect him to go away, no matter what happen. I was never too close to my grandfather, but that didn't stop the affection between us.

He was allways happy to see me, and even that I was more close with my grandmother, I still fill him like the person, who is allways glad to see his grandson.

Because my grandfather was a man of pride and carry a big respect inside me, he dosent show his affection so open, as my grandma, but that dosent mean, that he dosen't love me, as much as she does. He was just showing his affection more covered, more closed. But that didn't stop him, smiling all the time, when we were together.

In the begining of 2008 he get more and more sick. His heart didn't work properly and he get complections from that. It was a sad picture, to look a strong man, as my grandfather getting more and more sick and dependable on others.

On the 6-th of December he past away, after 3 weeks of pain, hospital cares and many carrying from me and my grandmother and other close to us people.

When he get in hospital, just 2 weeks, before he die, I can't believe he was going to go away and just, not be with us. I cant accept it. It was something impossible, as fullish it sound.

My grandma was visting him evry day, when he was in the hospital. She was taking great carrying for my grandfather, because she love him, so much.

I get sad feeling inside me, writing this and I know that it won't go away for a while, and I don't want to go away, just as my grandfather funeral past and evrything continued, as nothing happen.

But something happen. Specially for the people, knowing and loving my grandfather Racho Rachev. He will be missed alot.

Envy or a megalomania?

I just read a wonderful article, about me, in Lyd blog- http://c00ledge.wordpress.com/.
I was suprised, unpleasent, by one comment, leaved by a person, whos name, I will not name here. He dosent deserve to name him. I will call him just "M"
So, "M" wrote, how I was not the person, Lydia describe in her blog and that I waste all other applicants time, with my storys. Ok.
Evryone have opinion, I can't be put down by that. But I wonder, why he is so hostile and write such a vile comment, on Lyd blog.
I came to two conclusions: he is just envy, because someone wrote a nice thing about me, and I didn't add him on the Facebook, so it make me, a bad guy. The other thing is, that "M" is a megaloman and want all the attension. I watch him, on the monday meetings. His attitude, his comments, him behavior. I can accept that he is envy..but also he is a megaloman.
I know it dosent sound, the nicer thing, you can say for someone, but his post is showing such a unmuture behavior, that I can't just write something nice to him.
I don't know this kind of persons, as "M". I was glad to read the article by Lydia, but now I am thinking, why this person "M" is making me, the most evil guy, in the monday meetings.
Is it envy or a megalomania? Is it just that he feels rejected by me and want some attension. Is he so bold, to pursue his goals, that see, all other speaking, not on the topic of application, a dread to his future carrer?

Be what you wanna be

Can we be, what we want to be?
Evryone this days, what to leave the life of the rich and the famous. So, where is the persue of being what really we want to be, not what the media, show us.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDTGZOf1N6U&feature=channel

Thinking about university

All the cool things that have ever happen to me, where by luck, or the effords of others. I can't say I am proud of something particular. That's why I want to go to university. There I can proof that I am capable person, that I can accomplish assignments and that I can set a realistic goals.
I want to prove myself that thrue hard work, studying, I can become something more, then I am in the moment. That I can persue my dreams and I can organise my life, thanks to the things I am going to learn in the university.
Also I think that the university will expand my social skills, whitch will be very useful later, when I start to work.